A New Start

So. A new name, a new place, a new life. A new start.

I wish I were as confident about new beginnings as I had been at 18. Or at 20. It's amazing what a decade will do...

So far on this little adventure, things have been going well. Slow... but well. I must say I'm anxious to really get out there and live my own life for once. Unfortunately, circumstances dictate that I must begin at square one. I have no money, no job, and no place of my own. I live, as at 18, at the mercy of my parents, who have been quite merciful indeed.

Don't get me wrong. I love my parents. They have been generous and supportive and wonderful. But I like to think of myself, at least in my more phlegmatic moments, as an adult. It's disappointing to think that I've lived all this time, invested a great deal of effort, and the life that I had carved out for myself fell apart.

And why, I'd like to know, have I grown as a human being and shed the beneficial attributes of youth yet retained some of the more troublesome ones? How can I have lost the brazen confidence and reckless fearlessness while continuing to cling to impatience and impracticality? It's just not fair, I tell you.

Oh, well. I suppose if life has taught me anything thus far, it is that the universe seems to operate in patterns, even if I cannot step back far enough to appreciate the big picture, and as long as I behave and don't eat too many cookies before bed time, all will be made clear in the end.

Still, I hate waiting...